Feeling Empty
I went to the thrift store tonight and found some good stuff. There are two thrift stores on Cedar Street, here in Lansing, that have 50% off most everything the last Tuesday of the month. Anyway, while I was shopping I noticed the maternity clothes and that made me sad. August 1st of this year I had a miscarriage. I was just about 10 weeks along so I wasn't showing and we'd only told a few people. The song that went through my head at the time and that continues to play through my mind has a line "you give and take a way, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, blessed be your name". I know that God loves me and I trust him. But, I don't understand why after three text book pregnancies the fourth had to end as it did. Did I do something wrong? What if I'd gone to the doctor sooner? What would the baby have been like? Why do I feel so empty tonight?
posted by IndyMom @ 10:06 PM
4 Comments:
At 12/29/2005 12:24 AM,
Anonymous said…
you did nothing to cause the loss of the pregnancy. the grief will last for a while, sometimes more intense than others... i have no great words of wisdom and no magic wand to take away the pain. all i can tell you is that God can/will use what you've experienced at some point to help/encourage someone else. not to diminish the sense of loss/grief, but knowing someone else has been there and made it thru can give courage to another to keep going even when they might feel like giving up. i'm not saying that it is a good thing, but that God can/will make good come from it in His own way and time.
At 12/29/2005 10:42 AM,
Anonymous said…
We miss the baby also and think of it often. I don't know why it happened but I'm sure you did nothing wrong. LW
At 2/05/2006 4:34 PM,
Anonymous said…
You may always have moments of emptyness, this life often leaves us longing for the perfection of the next. He does love you. He knows you are a wonderful mom. I wonder from time to time what my "What if" child would have made my life.
But Paul writes wisely, "Press on toward the hope and the future." Phippians (I Think)
Interesting fact: We know that abortion causes breast cancer. Your milk ducts start deveolping in your breast and are left not quite complete because the pregancy was cut short, these underdevelopped cells are prone to become cancerous.
However in the case of a miscarriage your body doesn't end up with these same cells. Somehow your body knows the baby is not going to need it.
I thought it interesting.
Although we don't understand Our Bodies do. So does our God.
At 3/11/2006 6:05 AM,
Kimberly said…
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss! I can relate with that empty feeling b/c I had an ectopic pregnancy several years ago and the loss is always with me. People ask me why my 2nd and 3rd kids are so far apart in age and they assume my last child was a mistake or a surprise! God blessed us mightily with our 3rd and He help me through all the pain, frustration and loneliness. Not even my husband understood what I was going through. My prayers are with you.
Post a Comment
<< Home